The ones who work hardest aren't necessarily the ones who win

Over the past few years, I've often been called "one of the hardest working pros in triathlon".  That may be true.  There are many of us out there working hard.  But what I've recently (finally) come to terms with is that the ones who are successful aren't necessarily the hardest working ones - it's the ones who are most committed.  (thanks Leanda, Tim, Jon and all those who have told me this over and over again)  To me, 'working hard' gets me 20th at Kona; commitment gets me more than that.  I absolutely want better than that and am committed to achieving it.

I work hard in training and with my business, but found myself wondering 'what am I willing to commit to?', 'what is my passion?'  I got that answer a few weeks ago at IM Lanzarote, after many, many months of 'knowing' it but not admitting it to myself for fear of what others may think of me, or fear that I would be letting others down, or fear that I would be viewed as a failure.  
I came into IM Lanzarote very ready to put together a great performance on Ironman's most difficult, challenging course.  I had an average swim for me and very soon into the bike I encountered a major mechanical issue that left me with 1 gear - all 112 miles and 9000' elevation of it!  
Swallowing that reality pill and finishing the bike course anyway, I decided to not begin the marathon - saving my legs for my next race (IM France), since I was quite far behind the leaders at this point.  As I sniffled and burst into tears turning in my timing chip at the transition area, I realized then that my commitment lies in the absolute desire to push myself, suffer and prove that I am one of the best Ironman athletes out there.  I was crying because I wouldn't get the chance to suffer and challenge my competition, and that is exactly what I want to do - what I'm committed to doing.

So, I've changed my life course after that event and have committed myself to the training, suffering, pain, grit, glory, accomplishment, recovery, lifestyle, choices, determination, willpower and sacrifice that is being a professional triathlete.  Because it's not the hardest working ones who win; it's those who are the most committed.  Show yourself what you can do.